Fragmented thoughts of a fragmented mind

12 Sep 2014

blessed

Days like today make me feel really blessed. I hung out with a dear friend visting from Vancouver. We talked for hours, sitting on a grass patch at Dolores Park. I haven’t seen him in a year, and in between we don’t really keep in touch.

Yet we carried on the conversation as though it was left off from yesterday, despite both of us having evolved significantly between the gaps. He is one of the very few people whom I can engage in a blatantly honest conversation about the world with.

I know I am blessed, because I have a really tiny but growing group of people I can have similar conversations with. Conversations that never get pivoted into anything lightweight even when they make us uncomfortable. It is now my filter when I meet new people. I think life is extremely transient, and I want to get to the depth of things quick. I don’t really want to spend time talking about how I spent my weekend (please don’t ask me this question if you ever see me in real life), instead I would like to talk about how we can empower humanity even if it means we are just popping bubbles into the wind.

I used to feel bad that I cannot tolerate small talk, or I’ll pretend to fade into some corner just to fit in. Something changed in the past few months or so. I just don’t give a shit anymore.

The world continued spinning, life carried on and overall it is just really better that I am just upfront with who I am and where I want to go.

I am blessed to have people I can deeply connect with, and I am really thankful that I’ve found out relatively early in my life that I really don’t have to give a shit about things I don’t care about. I wish it was much earlier, but at the very least, it wasn’t when it was too late to start living.

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