Fragmented thoughts of a fragmented mind

16 Jun 2013

When you love people

Have you ever felt every single micro-second of your life was incredibly joyful, every cell in your body is in exhilarated excitement, every beat of your heart is filled with immense love, every inch of your soul is unbelievably grateful?

That has been me for the past two weeks.

People ask me, ‘how is it going?’ and I reply, ‘having the time of my life’.

Coming to San Francisco in 2011 was like realizing I am not the only alien on this planet, and since I’ve started work at Medium, it is almost like finding out that not only other aliens exist, but an entire bunch from the same planet is gathered together in the same room.

There is not enough words in the dictionary to describe how that truly feels, if you have ever felt alienated in some ways before in your life, simply because the way you look at life is simply different – then perhaps you may have an inkling of how I am feeling right now.

For the past two weeks I also had the opportunity to get to know some of the most amazing human beings I have ever met and listen to their stories. Each time someone tells me his or her story, I fall in love with humanity a little bit more. This is coming from the same person who wanted to be a hermit.

What I’ve learned so far just by listening to people telling stories, not only at Medium, but for the years leading up, that human beings possess extraordinary strength.

You have no idea the sheer number of people I have known who have gone through horrific incidents in their past and yet has risen above that, not only to become amazing people, but to demonstrate their ability to love people, even though they have been hurt badly by other people before.

Love people. How simple those words can be but how complex it is to execute. I have had the blessing to know someone who tries to shower love on every single person she comes across. And to be honest, I was taken aback at first. Taken aback, not because I doubted her sincerity in doing so, but because it was actually happening right before my eyes and my mind simply couldn’t compute that it was possible.

It was not too long ago that I seemed to live in a society that does a little eye-roll at the mention of any other human being apart from themselves.

How can someone like her possibly be so full of love and joy every single day?

So here’s what I have discovered for myself. The more I simply let go and love, the more I am surrounded by love. And I don’t mean love in a romantic sense. I am specifically referring to love in its truest sense, the love that has propelled humanity forward. That love you might have felt, when you watch people in the public service brave their lives during disasters. The pride that might have welled, to subconsciously feel that it is really amazing to be part of the human race that is capable of displaying so much courage.

And here is why. Or at least it is my reason why.

Being a human being, you have the conscious ability to choose love above everything else, even in the worst, darkest situations, you still have the free will to choose love. Your body and spirit can be broken by external factors, but there is no one else who can dictate whether you love or not.

When one is able to operate in that spectrum, for me this is where magic happens. Life becomes a state of flow, because you become aware of that indestructible power to choose. And when you exert that power, you may realize that anything is possible. And you start loving everybody freely and seeing their eyes light up, their bodies relax when they are in your presence. Because we, as human beings, have an innate capacity to feel love. We know it on a cosmic level when someone is radiating loving energy. You can attribute it to hormones and chemical reactions but there is no denying of it taking place.

I am not there yet. My journey is only beginning. I have experienced moments of it, that pure state of bliss. In fact, the past two weeks have been such, but being my cynical self which I am not afraid to display too, I have my doubts how long this ‘state of bliss’ is going to last.

But. I have the blessing of having such extraordinary people in my life, the people who have consistently chosen to love despite of and in spite of. And that is how I know how amazing it can be, because I have experienced the visible and visceral change, when other people come into their presence.

One of the best things to experience in life, is to see people’s faces light up. And many times all it takes is to take the effort to see them.

When you start to love people, you start to experience mass amounts of generosity. You suddenly become aware that there is so much love in this world. That through loving people you strengthen your own ability to touch people’s lives. Through touching people’s lives, you may learn that you are actually the one who’s being touched. That you think you’re giving, but you may discover all you’re doing is to redistribute energy. And when you expend that effort to redistribute energy, it has this uncanny way of coming back at you when you need it the most.

And one day, perhaps it may all come together in an epiphany. And it suddenly all becomes clear. You marvel at the beauty of life and along with it, comes with the intense desire to be fully alive.

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